In batches and all varieties of colour the jelly clones came in jelly men and jelly women that he separated into flavour colonies to make and hybridise jelly offspring. They had gooey cherry-vanilla centres for brains and hadn’t evolved nerves as far as he knew, so he figured his methods were well within ethical standards. They proved a hit during festivals, which were often family affairs, so the packages came as jelly mums and jelly dads with jelly kids and dogs and cats, or just couples for those more romantically inclined. There followed an expansion into jelly accessories for the Professor’s jelly creations – jelly rings for proposals, jelly gowns for graduation, jelly scalpels for circumcisions, and jelly reindeer complete with actual droppings for Christmas. Everyone was welcome to celebrate every occasion imaginable in this very jelly world. Invariably, there were the odd specimens missing a limb or a head, but the ones with behavioural issues were the real problem, namely those that persisted in copulating with mates other than those he’d assigned, to the point where some even refused segregation according to his painstakingly designated flavour profiles, going cross-colony with their contaminant jelly genes.Īs these misfits grew in number, he was forced to sequester them en masse in containers that warranted specialised disposal, so of course what he did instead was to deposit them in a neglected corner of the city dump, to stew over autumn and winter, through spring and then the sweltering heat of summer… Oh, except for the 10% or so of the Professor’s output that failed to meet expectations. When disaster struck, just as Professor Devin, having one-upped both Nature and Nestlé, was about to commemorate the one-year anniversary of his resounding success. A gargantuan, multi-limbed, multi-headed monster had risen from the refuse and was headed for the city, wreaking destruction in its path. Well, who better to come up with ideas against a fifty-foot-tall jelly monster than the jelly scientist himself? He was escorted to his horrendus opus, a heaping gestalt of molten speckly goo, with whom he attempted to reason, promising cures for its deficiencies if it would only calm down and be reasonable. But it couldn’t or wouldn’t, and attempted to crush the fleeing escort with its many jelly feet.Ī jelly priest was called in next, in the hopes of exorcising the monster, promising to expel the demons that had corrupted those nice, normal jelly folks trapped within. Unconvinced, the monster roared and smashed the jelly church with its jelly penises before moving on to city hall. There, the jelly politicians scrambled and begged, crying that it wasn’t them or the system, it was the fault of individuals like that mad scientist, and that if it went away in peace, they’d give it with cash and a nice home near the trash heap where it grew up. The monster tore through the building regardless, breaking the pipes that then flooded the area and the nearby courthouse with raw sewage, into which it popped jelly eggs from its jelly vaginas.įinally, the monster reached the facility that had birthed it.
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